Where the stress all began ...

Okay, so I'm going to be as open and transparent as I can be with writing these blogs. I want our relationship together to be as authentic as possible, and, in order for me to help you as much as I can I have to give you the raw, real, and ugly truths that this journey will consist of. They're not all bad at all. But, it's real and sometimes real isn't pretty. 

I began my modern calligraphy and hand lettering journey in 2019. Which is also the same year that I quit my job. Yep, you read that right. I quit my good paying, and good benefit providing job in 2019. Not only did I quit my job y'all. But I didn't have a single idea of what I was going to do next. I didn't have a plan B. I was just trusting God. 

Trusting God ...

Let's talk about trusting God really quick. Because, we can't just brush past that. (no pun intended lol.) God was nudging me to leave my job and of course, like any other person, I hesitated a little. Okay, a lot lol. I was like, "okay God I don't mind leaving my job. Because, let's be honest .. I don't really want to be here. I don't enjoy the routine of it, and I don't enjoy getting cursed out by unhappy customers all day. But, are you going to provide for me if I do this. I'm still a responsible adult with real bills and these companies want their money like clock work. What am I going to do?" And, He simply asked me to trust Him. So, I did ... at FIRST! 

I trusted Him in the beginning. I loved the idea of not having to wake up and go through that anymore. But, when the money from my 401K started to dwindle and the bills were still in rotation without any income being added to my account my trust started to waiver. It started dwindling right along with the money that was in my account. I stopped trusting God when I felt like He wasn't providing for me in the way that I thought His provision should look. And, ironically it was in that moment that He showed up for me. I just didn't see it as that at the time! 

Stay with me y'all. I promise I'm going somewhere with this. 

I didn't FULLY leave God or doubt Him. But, I did start to take matters into my own hands. What I didn't know was God was with me even in that. I went to YouTube. Y'all know, the infamous YouTube University! I started googling things like "ways to make money fast", "how to make money from home", etc. at this point I was desperate and willing to do just about anything, (but not really lol.) So I started going through the videos and watching them waiting for that "thing" to come. But, the thing never came.

So I thought .....

But, what did happen was I kind of got discouraged from not really finding anything on YouTube. I picked up my phone to give myself a break and went to my Instagram app. When I logged on I saw on my discovery page someone writing with a marker. But, it looked like a font. A VERY intriguing one! I was mesmerized. I was immediately consumed by it. Like, legit RIGHT AWAY! I binged watch her channel. I don't even remember whose channel it was. At the time I didn't care about the person as much. I was just enthralled with the gift she had. So of course, you know what I did at that point. I went right back to YouTube University. But, this time with a different approach! Now my searches began to look something like "fancy hand writing", "how to write like a font", etc. 

And, from that moment I discovered MODERN CALLIGRAPHY & HAND-LETTERING! A gift that would change my life in ways I didn't know just yet. 

I had all the time in the world to discover things about this skill. I didn't go into it looking for ways on how I could make money though. That wasn't my initial desire for it. I just had a deep desire to learn this skillset no matter what. I wanted to master it. I wanted the challenge of being able to do it. That was my drive. I binged watched countless tutorials of it. And, downloaded countless downloadable and printables for it. I asked my Mom to take me to Michaels and we splurged as much as I was able to (Like 2-3 pens here and there lol,) on brush markers and gel pens. I was LOCKED IN at this point. 

What I later discovered was that I loved it sooo much! & the main reason was because it took my mind off of all of the worries in the world. When I was lettering, nothing else mattered. The fact that I didn't have a job didn't matter. Not being able to pay my bills didn't matter. The thought of my car getting repoed didn't matter. Literally, NOTHING! It was my world away from the world. It was my escape. The best escape. The greatest form of therapy for me at that point in my life, and I didn't even recognize it. 

It was a Blessing!

A blessing that I didn't realize was a blessing. Because, think about it, how many people do you know who doesn't have an escape from the real world? Probably majority of them. At least that was the case for me. God was blessing me outside of finances. But, because finances was what I thought I needed most at the time, I was too blind to tell. 

As I was learning the skill, developing, and getting better overtime I felt led by God to start learning how I could make an income from it. But, at this time I had learned epoxy resin and I was making products for people and that had money rolling in. So, I had discovered a skill that was helping me to pay my bills. I was able to buy food to eat again. I was able to pay my car note again. I was working my way up again. So, I thought! I know now that I was just being distracted. It was a counterfeit. Not that it didn't work. But, it gave me a false illusion of what I was supposed to be doing. Which goes back to me not fully trusting God. 

I was trusting God to give me ideas and help me with my creative journey because this creativeness was all new to me. I had never been creative before to my knowledge. We'll talk about that in another blog. But, I was trusting God for everything but what I needed to trust Him for. I started to take control of it all and take matters into my own hands. What a mistake that was! But, such a beautiful one. The Lord really does make all things work together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). And I really really did and do love Him!

So, I say all that to say that God gave me the gift of calligraphy and writing and I know it was Him because it came with a great sense of peace, calmness, relaxation, therapy, and an escape. He was all up and through it. It was just like that for resin too. But, I just did things out of order. And now, He's aligning things back. Because, I went to Him and I told Him that I would fully trust Him this time around and take my hands completely off of the situation. I well let Him guide me and I will flow with Him. I won't go against the flow anymore. I won't resist. I won't try and take control. I will just be still and know that He's God (Psalms 46:10)

God gave me this gift when I needed it the most. I was so stressed and I needed an escape. And, it just so happened to be an escape I didn't know I needed so badly. It's a world that I belonged to that I didn't even know existed. I'm here to tell you that He can do the exact same for you. This isn't for everybody. But, for the ones who it is for I'm here to help you along your journey. I'm sent here to be a light to you in your dark place. I'm proof to you that if He could bring me out of the darkness and into the light with something as simple yet so extravagant and beautiful as calligraphy. He can do the same for you. Remember, God does not show favoritism (Romans 2:11)